Insanity: You get it from your dogs!

If Cesar the "dog whisperer" and Dr. Phil could have a love child it would be my dream come true.  I'm pretty sure this would be the only person out there who could give my dogs the help they need.  They say dogs often mirror their owners- I totally disagree.  I have two little "mirrors," a five year old Pug named Howard and an eight year old black Lab named Sophie.  Where to begin....  Howard is codependent, has wretched gas, and the minute you think you can trust him he will turn around and do something bizarre.  If you leave dirty laundry lying on the floor you may rest assured Howard will see this as a directive reading, "Please poop here."  On two separate occasions he has actually pooped in his food bowl.  As you may imagine this involves a very deliberate squatting effort.  He is short, stubby little dog and there is no way that was an accident.  I adopted Howard because my other dog, Sophie, had such horrible separation anxiety that she required a babysitter.  I would drop her off at my mom's before work and then pick her up after.  If left alone she wreaked havoc.  She pulled down the blinds, she put holes in screens, she knocked books off the bookshelf and dishes off the table.  One day while I was at work my neighbor called because she had come through the screen and was down in the courtyard partaking in their family cookout.  And so then came Howard, because Sophie needed a companion.  Having a buddy did help Soph with her anxiety but she still has issues.  First of all, she doesn't like the water, won't retrieve, and overlooks birds within a paws reach even when she is in full on hunting mode.  She is a complete embarrassment to Labs everywhere.   In public I try to pass her off as a poodle.   Secondly, she will run away whenever she gets a chance.  She has improved slightly but for the longest time I had to warn anyone going through my gate to be on high alert because nine times out of ten she would sense their vulnerability and charge at them like a bull in a china shop, knocking them over as she bolted through the partially open gate.  Last but not least she is very stubborn and opinionated about going anywhere, outside if its too hot or too cold, and God forbid we have an appointment with the vet or the groomer.  Sophie goes into "passive resistance"mode. She becomes completely limp and forces me to drag her ninety pounds of dead weight through the door, but not before she hides behind the bed, or under the table or anywhere she thinks I can't get to.  These dogs obviously need therapy.  We've had obedience school, they pronounced Sophia to be "very timid and sensitive," and well for Howard, there were no words.  However, even at their most maddening, when those deep brown eyes gaze into mine or a soft furry head seeks solace against my knee- I know they are worth it.