2. Begin with a positive and benign comment. Something along the lines of "You look well. Vibrant actually!" Depending on how this is perceived you can move forward. If the intended is of the kind that take offense to the concept of personal value being based upon physical appearance it is safer for you to stay neutral in your compliments. Say things like, "You are lighting up this room! It is so great to be around you!" With this sort of compliment your intended may construe multiple meanings, any of which will make him or her feel properly validated. They may prefer to believe that you meant that they light up the room with their dazzling personality and quit wit. Or, they might assume their impact comes from a strong education and sound intellect. Then there are those who will realize that you really mean that their smoking hot body and much smaller ass are lighting up the room and they will be okay with that. But, staying neutral keeps the sensitive pussies from calling their mommies and drawing violent depictions of you being tortured by ISIS in their diaries at night.
3. Fight ALL of your impulses to say what you are thinking because it is very likely on the list of "Things to NEVER say."
Keep this list in mind when censoring yourself:
- "Wow! You have a waist!" This of course implies that the intended recipient did not have a waist which is factually incorrect. Please don't make yourself look stupid. It is also a bad to suddenly inform a person that they have cheekbones, hipbones, a collarbone, etcetera. As with the waist they have always had these physical traits, unless of course they have received a bone implant that you are aware of. A basic developmental stage for toddlers is understanding object permanence- the concept that just because something isn't visible doesn't mean it isn't there. Do you want to be developmentally surpassed by toddlers?
- "I didn't even recognize you! You look so amazing!" Once again this makes you seem really stupid. How pitiful are your skills of identification if you are unable to adapt to physical modifications? I guarantee you if a total stranger or a chimp were asked to match thin and fat pictures of a selection of people they would be able to figure it out, unless of course someone also added a spray tan in which case all bets are off. Unnatural shades of orange can confuse anyone. However, you should be able to figure the rest out. Eyes? The same. Height? The same. Mouth? The same. If you suffer from this disability I am confident there are games designed for young children that could help you develop overcome your unfortunate state.
- "You look so beautiful!" This is primarily offensive if you have never paid this compliment to the individual before because it indicates you found them hideous prior to the weight loss. Making someone feel hideous should never be the effect of a compliment. If you can't do it right just stay away.
- Never say, "Are you sick?" This of course implies that you do not believe they are capable of modifying their body without the assistance of a terminal illness. There is scientific evidence out there that proves weight loss is possible with lifestyle changes. When you say this it translates you are confident while other people may change their lifestyle this particular person lacks the strength of character to do so unless they contract some hideous disease. It is also inappropriate to ask the person if they have developed an addiction to cocaine or amphetamines. Same principle. If either statement passes your lips you can consider yourself a thoughtless asshole.
Just remember, it is always a safe bet to say "You look great today!" And leave it at that. If the intended wants to discuss their bodyfat with you they will direct the conversation. You should now be able to safely chat with friends who have lost weight without being a jerk. You're welcome.
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