white girl out north (no, this is not an add for cocaine)

   Living in almost north Tulsa has many, many benefits.  I love being close to major highways, I love old buildings and old businesses, less franchises and more mom and pop places.  I love seeing a variety of people and being just a few minutes away from the crucial areas of midtown, downtown, and of course Brookside and Cherry Street.  There are a few things I don't like, but they are fairly insignificant. 
      I don't like the fact that when I walk my dogs in my neighborhood it pays to be incognito and genderless.  If I go walking at night in baggy, figure obscuring clothes with my hair hidden under a cap and my eyes downcast, there is far less of a chance that any of the man children in my village will try to get my attention with the usual compelling conversation starters.  "Hey baby!  You need some help with that dog?"  or "Yo girl, you gotta man?  Come on over here. Come hang out with us!"  When the guys are younger they depend on the herd for courage, and they are far less likely to try these lines on their own.  Then you have the over 35 guys.  Fearless, shameless and fully aware that when it comes to getting lucky its a numbers game. This means if hitting on you doesn't work it at least brings them closer to that statistical law that says at least one time out of fifty, some dog walking girl will respond with, "I've been waiting for that offer all day!  Quick, let's not exchange names but rather run into your office and video record us having raunchy sex on your desk.  Then I will leave and never bother you again.  Sound good?"  Oh statistics... 
      I also don't love ancient fuse boxes, seeing really old people walking to grocery stores in 100 degree weather, and arguing with pan handlers in front of Quick Trip.  The thing I dislike the most?  Driving to south Tulsa.  First of all it takes more than five minutes.  So sue me. I'm spoiled.  (although honestly I drive to Owasso and Jenks all the time and those five plus drives don't bother me)  Then there seems to be a  fifty-fifty chance that an accident, construction or Amway meeting will have the traffic on 169 S  down to a one lane crawl, as people drive 10 miles per hour and rubber neck saying things like, "I had no idea Amway still existed!"  You get my point.  Then when you actually finally exit, say 71st street, it could be simple or it could be almost identical to a semi literal definition of hell.  Like God was playing marbles with cars, threw a handful down and then said, "Hey!  Good luck!"  I used to work in this area so maybe the issue I have with it now is some kind of post traumatic stress from having to deal with Christmas traffic, when a 15 minute drive became 45.  So I rarely go there, and if I do I try to make it late and night or early in the morning, certainly not at 5 pm.  What am I missing out on?  Krispy Kreme?  I thank God every day there isn't one closer to me because I don't need the temptation!  Woodland Hills Mall.  Nope, I'm not a teenager any more.  I don't want to see or be seen and the only place I'm trendy is in my mind.  Everything I need is right here.  Most of it on Admiral. And truthfully, what I never see I will never miss.  So everyone put on your blinders.  You'll be shocked how easy contentedness can be.